All songs written and arranged by Apryl Knight unless otherwise noted.
Recorded and mixed by Tree Leom at Soundwright Studio, TX, 870-307-5355
Sonic Mastering by Matt Smith
Produced by Apryl Knight & Tree Leom
No hedgehogs were taken on adventures in big blue boxes during this recording (drat).
1. Hairless Hypoallergenic Hellhound
toy piano, tambourine, piano, voice
It’s tough being a demon, I feel so all alone
I wish that I had someone to help me feel at home
But people aren’t the answer, on account of the dark curse,
And fluffy dogs and kittens will send me to the nurse.
That’s right; I am allergic, to dander and to fur,
But I have strong desires for a friendly bark or purr.
What to do? How can I solve this? Who out there’s meant for me?
I’ll search the demon classifieds to see what I can see.
But, look! What have I found here? It’s the answer to my prayers.
This simple little advert has caught me unawares.
They’re offering a companion, a perfect one for me.
But why is she so perfect? Just listen, and you’ll see!
(Chorus)
She is a hairless hypoallergenic hellhound.
Won’t make me sneeze. I say, “Yes, please!”
She is a hairless hypoallergenic hellhound.
She’ll make this cursed life much easier on me.
I call the number listed, someone answers and says “Hi.”
I ask about the Hellhound, he says “Sure thing, come on by.”
I feel a little nervous; will this hound be the one?
I walk in, see her flaming eyes - a friendship has begun!
(Chorus)
She is a hairless hypoallergenic hellhound.
Won’t make me sneeze. I say, “Yes, please!”
She is a hairless hypoallergenic hellhound.
She’ll make this cursed life much easier on me.
I go about my business, from place to place I fly
My brand new friend, the hellhound, brings a twinkle to my eye
She follows me along my rounds, she helps from time to time
She seems to really like me, and she makes my life sublime!
My first stop’s a cathedral, I incite lust in a priest,
the pristine velvet benches are assaulted by my beast
I then foreclose some mortgages, and misplace some car keys
My hellhound travels to a park and profanes on some trees
Next we drive out to city hall, and cause a lot of pain
by driving 20 miles per hour while in the passing lane
My hellhound distracts everyone, she is so very nimble
while I alter some freeway plans to make an occult symbol
(Chorus)
She is a hairless hypoallergenic hellhound.
Won’t make me sneeze. I say, “Yes, please!”
She is a hairless hypoallergenic hellhound.
She’ll make this cursed life much easier on me.
And on the way back home, I make some rot in a fruit tree
My hellhound scares the neighbor’s cat so he’ll break their TV
We spend some time on crank calls and a rousing game of fetch,
then finish up by cursing my ex-boss, oh that poor wretch!
(Chorus)
She is a hairless hypoallergenic hellhound.
Won’t make me sneeze. I say, “Yes, please!”
She is a hairless hypoallergenic hellhound.
She’ll make this cursed life much easier on me.
2. RPG Monster Song
(tune - Jarabe Tapatío / Mexican Hat Dance)
toy piano, bodhran, voice
Beholders and kobolds and sphinxes and ogres
And dragons (chromatic and not)
Stone golems, earth golems, gorgons, efreet
Elementals both chilly and hot
Basilisk, vampire, bugbear, leviathan
Cockatrice, gnoll, orc and roc
Siren and satyr and incubus, succubus,
Will o' wisp and trees that walk
Purple worm, lizardman, hippogriff, mimic
Medusas that stare and shoot arrows
Dryad and dark elf and bugbear, chimera and
Wyvern and werewolf and merrows
--------------
Aboleth, avoral, archon, and athach,
A giant, a cube made of jello
Barghest, and blink dog and centaur and chuul,
A destrachan's attack: sonic bellows
Celestial creature, darkmantle, digester
A 9 foot devourer, too
A dire wolf and deep dwarf, a drow and a frost worm
Black pudding with acid-like goo
Gargoyles and genies and giants and gnomes
And paladins fighting gazebos
Our party has fought all these monsters and more
We roll dice and we eat our burritos
--------------
Pegasus, naga, night hag, and nightmare,
And the Glow Cloud - wait, that is Night Vale
A frostwind virago and Wind creature who
Creates wind wall, a great howling gale
Chaos beast, Cloaker, and Delver, and Demon
Assassin vine, Formian queen
Aranea, Arrowhawk, Bodak, and Belker
And slime that's transparent and green
Barbed devil, bone devil, chain devil, horned devil
Ice devil, imp, and pit fiend
Nightcrawler, nightwalker, nightwing, and nymph
On Gygax's text we were weaned
--------------
Ethereal filcher, a Gibbering mouther
Homunculus, Lamia, Lich
Gray render, Grimlock, Rakshasa, and Rast
Cursed armor that might make you itch
A Halfling, a Harpy, a Hellhound, a Howler
a shadow, a shambling mound
A Manticore, Minotaur, Mummy lord, and
Phantom fungus that's found underground
D&D is much more fun than real life
We pretend to be our alter-egos
When you're sad you can sit in on our game
D&D wins out over placebos
--------------
A rust monster ruins all metals it finds
And a steam golem loudly can whistle
A razor boar tramples all of your friends
I attack darkness and cast Magic Missile
That rust monster ate up my favorite sword
Now I'm down to a crossbow and dirk
A wraith just drained away two of my levels away
This new DM is quite a jerk
A Hydra, a Kraken, a Sea cat, a sea hag
And merfolk down where it is wet
Bat swarm and rat swarm and spider swarm, too
A griffon and krenshar
A spectre and sprites
That ain't all but it's all that you get.
3. 8 Arms To Caffeinate You
toy piano, cymbal, glockenspiel, piano, flute, Liebaphone, voice
I come into work every morning at half past nine
As soon as I enter the room I see the line
I put on my apron and my name tag
Reach under the counter and grab a bag
By the time I get done here, they’ll all feel fine
With one arm, I grab a scoop to get some beans
With another I pour some milk so it can steam
And another arm turns the grinder on
Yet another one grabs the cinnamon
And one arm is dispensing the whipped cream
(Chorus)
Yes, I’ve got eight arms to caffeinate you
My shop, you’ll gravitate to
When you want to wake up don’t carbonate
Come into my shop and percolate
These beans will always animate you
You might think it’s hard to work here as I am
That I’d slip and fall down with a loud ka-blam
But with some rubber mats I can really zoom
I’ve got a salt water tank in the break room
And the coffee shop’s right on the pier, so to work I swam
As a cephalopod, I like to socialize
I can give eight simultaneous high-fives
The coffee shop is my favorite place
When I make drinks, I start my very own ‘arms race’
And with all my customers I like to fraternize
(Chorus)
‘Cause I’ve got eight arms to caffeinate you
My drinks will captivate you
When you want to wake up don’t carbonate
Come into my shop and percolate
These beans will always animate you
This shop is my very favorite place to be
Making coffee for people fills me with such glee
My coffee should win a Nobel Prize
Maybe someday, I can start a franchise
“The Finest Coffee Ever By The Sea”
Business here is going really well
I sell a hundred cups for every ocean swell
With the money I make, I buy more beans
And the newest and fanciest brew machines
And I owe it all to my lovely clientele
(Chorus)
Yes, I’ve got eight arms to caffeinate you
My shop, you’ll gravitate to
When you want to wake up don’t carbonate
Come into my shop and percolate
These beans will always animate you
4. Pocket Monster Lament
(tune - Molly Malone, early 19th c.)
harp, flute, glockenspiel, voice
In Austin’s fair city
Where the parks are so pretty
I first played a phone game called Pokémon Go
I tracked Pidgey and Spearow
Through streets broad and ‘nearrow’
Crying “Jigglypuff!” “Pikachu!” “Seel!” and “Slowbro!”
Seel and Slowbro, Seel and Slowbro
Crying “Jigglypuff!” “Pikachu!” “Seel!” and “Slowbro!”
I walked with my iPhone
To pass the next milestone
To hatch all the eggs, and to level up slow
My phone tracked my progress
I started to obsess
Crying “Dragonite!”, “Gyrados!”, “Jinx!”, and “Hypno!”
Jinx and Hypno, Jinx and Hypno
Crying “Dragonite!”, “Gyrados!”, “Jinx!”, and “Hypno!”
I fought in gym battles
In all of my travels
To buy incubators and great balls to throw
With pokécoins plenty
I spent not a penny
Crying “Jolteon!” “Flareon!” “Eevee!” “Ditto!”
Eevee, Ditto, Eevee, Ditto
Crying “Jolteon!” “Flareon!” “Eevee!” “Ditto!”
Then raids did begin
To all my chagrin
For gath’ring a large group was difficult, oh
To catch legendaries
One can’t be solitary
Crying “Zapdos!” and “Moltres!” and “Articuno!”
Articuno, Articuno
Crying “Zapdos!” and “Moltres!” and “Articuno!”
Then research I did do
To help Willow find Mew
These side quests were fun, and XP he bestows
But Magikarp I must evolve?
That tested my resolve
Walking Magikarp ’til it becomes Gyrados
Becomes Gyrados, becomes Gyrados
Walking Magikarp ’til it becomes Gyrados
My plan will come to fruition
I’ll make it my mission
To reach level 40, not one point below
I’ll track Skitty and Swalot
And throw ultra balls a lot
Crying “Swablu!” and “Seviper!”, “Spoink!”, “Sealeo!”
Spoink, Sealeo, Spoink, Sealeo
Crying “Swablu!” and “Seviper!”, “Spoink!”, “Sealeo!”
5. Cantiga 281
(written or collected by King Alfonso X, mid 13th c.)
hurdy gurdy, bones, field bass drum
6. The Doctor's Companions
(Oh, Doctor Boy) (tune - Londonderry Air, early 20th c.)
harp, flute, voice
Oh, Doctor boy, your travels, they are calling
But we are here, the ones you’ve left behind
You hemmed and hawed, we figured you were stalling
We’d go with you, but you were disinclined
To keep us safe, you made us stand behind you
To save our lives, you faced an angry foe
Be by your side? We all were much inclined to
And could you stay? Oh, Doctor boy, you had to go
And while you’re gone, our normal lives go onward,
We miss the fun, and, yes, the danger too
We look back and our adventures we honored
We hope to see your box come into view
So come ye back when Daleks are defeated
Or when Ice Warriors are back beneath the snow,
And here we'll be, you make us feel completed
Oh, Doctor boy, oh Doctor boy, we love you so!
7. The Doctor's Wife (You Call Me Sexy)
(tune - Female Sailor / La Matelote, 18th c., Arr. Mark Williams & April Porter)
harp, flute, voice
Once upon a time, I up and stole a Time Lord so
We could go adventuring far away from home
I knew right then and there, we’d
Always be together, just
You and me exploring, wherever we might roam
Out among the starlight
You can be my shipwright
No matter if it’s safe or into danger we must fly
I’ll get you there all right
If you would just sit tight
I’ll take you where you need to go, or maybe just nearby
The first time that you saw me, you touched my console and you said that
I was the most beautiful thing you’d ever known.
You stole me and I stole you; it was no case of borrowing. What
Makes you think I’d give you back after we’d flown?
Way back then on Gallifrey
I wanted just to run away
And you were running, too, my thief; I took you for a ride
I got bored of the day-to-day
In that museum so far away
And you, you were just mad enough to let me be your guide
Traveling through space and time is all I wanna do as
Long as I can do my traveling with you
I heard you call me “Sexy” while we tumbled through the stars, so
That must be my name; you’d never be untrue
My flight controls, you take on
You’re flying with the brake on
And that is why I make that wheezing sound you always hear
Through times and places forgone
It is I you count on
And that is why I’ll always be with you, so never fear.
8. 4th Doctor Scarf Blues
toy piano, flute, piano, cymbal, voice
I love Doctor Who
And I really like to knit
So I decided to make the scarf
To go with my outfit
The first thing to chose was
Which version to do
And since I’m vegan
To use cotton or bamboo
My first setback came when
I tried to order online
I needed 15 skeins
but they only carried 9
(Chorus)
I've got the knitting
Knitting the 4th Doctor Scarf Blues
Between completion and sanity
Oh, I’m gonna have to choose
My next order of business
Was to drive around town
But I only hit two yarn shops
Before my car broke down
So I sprang for a taxi
And I paid the fare
But the next shop on my list was closed
And it filled me with despair
Finally got all 7 colors
And headed back to my house
But by then, it was mealtime
Had to cook dinner for my spouse
(Chorus)
I've got the knitting
Knitting the 4th Doctor Scarf Blues
Between completion and sanity
Guess I’m gonna have to choose
I have knitted six feet
Gotta knit six feet more
Cause now when I wear the scarf
It doesn't touch the floor
I was knitting another row
And I ran out of yarn
Got so mad I ripped a hole
That I’ll maybe have to darn
I’m keeping track of so many colors
That maybe I’ll combust
Don’t know why I didn’t pick the scarf
That’s just purple, wine, and rust
(Chorus)
I've got the knitting
Knitting the 4th Doctor Scarf Blues
Between completion and sanity
Oh, I know I’ll have to choose
9. Pirate Chain Mail
toy piano, whistle, bodhran, glockenspiel, voice
Verse -
My dear Mrs. Robinson,
I'm writing you to say
I've got some land to sell to you
That's down by Botany Bay.
That is to say it's not too far from somewhere that is not too far from sea.
I think you see.
My dear Mrs. Robinson,
It's not too late to buy
I got this land from someone with one arm and just one eye.
He told me that it's quite a deal
And I could pass those savings on to you.
Ooh ooh ooh ooh.
Bridge -
Dearest Mrs. Robinson,
I'm wishing you would send me a reply
I'm always writing letters
And I'll keep on writing letters
Until my ink pot utterly runs dry
Verse -
My dear Mrs. Robinson
I'm writing you to say
I've got some gold that you can have
If you can also pay
To help me find it. I was told
About this treasure by one Captain Kidd. Oh yes, he did.
Dearest Mrs. Robinson,
In addition to that gold
I've got a spot to offer you,
And it's not in the hold.
For only ten gold sovereigns,
You'll sail in lux'ry with the other crew
Of Bartholomew
Bridge -
Dearest Mrs. Robinson
I promise you will have a pleasant trip
There's absolutely no rats
And no scurvy will you find there
Aboard this pristine lovely leak-proof ship oh oh
Verse -
My dearest Mrs. Robinson,
Please don't feel so forlorn.
I have a shipment waiting here of pristine narwhal horn.
I only need a trusted individual to help me get it through.
So how 'bout you?
My dear Mrs. Robinson,
If you have ten doubloons,
please send a parchment by seagull by this midsummer's moon.
The New World markets wait and
With this magic substance, wealthy we will be.
Oh, yes, you'll see.
You will see.
10. What Do You Do With A Drunken Sailor
(early 18th c.)
hurdy gurdy, flute, bowed psaltery, harp, bodhran, bass guitar
11. Go Home Google (You're Drunk Again)
piano, cymbal, Liebaphone, finger percussion, voice
Late last night I went to the store
Google maps decided she could take no more
She made a choice - I should go explore
Giving good directions is such a bore
Go through a stop sign - turn right
Drive 50 feet, then left at the light
Take a hairpin turn, not too tight
I find myself driving for the rest of the night
*Go home, Google, you’re drunk again
Another drive I decided to take
Google maps made a big mistake
Good thing I have a working emergency brake
Seemed she wanted me to end up in the lake
She looked at the directions, but didn’t respond
Of clear instructions, she is not fond
With her common sense, someone had to abscond
She said, “Go straight down the boat launch and into the pond”
*Go home, Google, you’re drunk again
Just the other day I went for a drive
On the upper deck of I-35
Google maps must have wanted a swan-dive
She said to turn right on De(a)dman Drive
I drove out to my friend’s abode
She lives in a rural postal code
My car into a cornfield Google showed
Then she told me to proceed off-road
*Go home, Google, you’re drunk again*
Last week I went to a derby bout
Google maps suggested the scenic route
Instead of the highway, a roundabout
Then onto a dirt road and a tire blowout
My friend asked me to check on her dog, Mouse
While she was on vacation with her spouse
Google Maps instructions caused me to grouse
They sent me to the city dump instead of her house
*Go home, Google, you’re drunk again
Another friend’s home, I did look for
We were going to watch Harry and Dumbledore
About a block before her house, Google spoke no more
But said I’d reached my destination on her second floor
I had to go shopping to stock my fridge
But Google Maps messed up, just a smidge
She gave me directions across a ridge, then told
Me to cross a river without a bridge
*Go home, Google, you’re drunk again
Whomever named these roads could not foresee
Google’s misinterpretation of vocabulary
She gets abbreviations wrong; QED,
It’s not “Malcolm Ten Drive” or “Robert East Lee”
Google Maps’ directions are sometimes wrong
When telling you to turn, she takes too long
You’re out on the highway, zooming along
(tacit - “Turn right during last verse - Recalculating song”)
*Go home, Google, you’re drunk again
12. Mining Terraria
(tune - Black Velvet Band, early 19th c.)
toy piano, bowed psaltery, piano, voice
In a neat little town I called Princeton
In a game that has lots of renown
I’ve had many an hour's sweet happiness
While mining that neat little town
A sad misfortune came over me
I’d thought that it would be quite grand
But then I found I was mistaken
Betrayed by this square cube of land
At first, I thought I’d found diamonds
But it was just tin in the sand
And there I was, mining Terraria
With a copper pickaxe in my hand
I did turn on my console
Meaning not long for to play
When my spelunking potion showed me such things
To mine, that I had to obey
They were both sparkly and shiny
But when I saw them firsthand
Then I knew that they were not worth so much
These meaningless square cubes of land
At first, I thought I’d found diamonds
But it was just tin in the sand
And there I was, mining Terraria
With a copper pickaxe in my hand
So I took a stroll back to my house
And a merchant, he did pass me by
But before I could chat, I was ambushed
By a zombie and a demon eye
They dove at me and attacked me
And ripped off my head and my hand
Then I had to start over with much less stuff
Though I still had some square cubes of land
At first, I thought I’d found diamonds
But it was just tin in the sand
And there I was, mining Terraria
With a copper pickaxe in my hand
Before I went back out to mining
To the monsters, I gave a great sneer
And then started to craft my defense
With a golden broadsword and a spear
I then headed out to defeat them
It went just as well as I’d planned
And then, I headed back underground
To carve out some square cubes of land
At first, I thought I’d found diamonds
But it was just tin in the sand
And there I was, mining Terraria
With a copper pickaxe in my hand
So come all you geeky young gamers
A warning take by me
When you’re playing this game, and you go outside
Beware of the monsters you’ll see
They'll menace you and they’ll attack you
'Til you are unable to stand
And the very next thing you’ll know, you’re dead
And can’t mine any square cubes of land.
At first, I thought I’d found diamonds
But it was just tin in the sand
And there I was, mining Terraria
With a copper pickaxe in my hand
13. Five Pounds Of Faire
(tune - Packington’s Pound, late 17th c.)
harp, bowed psaltery, voice
Five pounds of faire, five pounds of faire, every weekend I’m taking home five pounds of faire.
Dust in the air, hasn’t a care, every weekend it’s coating me, five pounds of faire.
The cannon goes off
My hat I doff
The resulting dust cloud, it does make me cough
So I take off my costume
and scrub ’til it’s clean
And I witness the fabric
turn from brown to green
Then I take a hot shower
it feels very nice
But as I am so dirty
I have to bathe twice
——
Five pounds of faire, five pounds of faire, every weekend I’m taking home five pounds of faire.
Dust in the air, hasn’t a care, every weekend it’s coating me, five pounds of faire.
I get in my van
Without a plan
Before I know it, the seats are all tan
So I take off my costume
and wash it with care
I think that this goes beyond
reasonable wear
Then I take a hot shower
it feels very nice
To be rid of five pounds of dirt
is paradise
——
Five pounds of faire, five pounds of faire, every weekend I’m taking home five pounds of faire.
Dust in the air, hasn’t a care, every weekend it’s coating me, five pounds of faire.
When I get home
My hair I comb
There is enough dirt to camouflage Rome
So I take off my costume
and scrub ’til it’s clean
And I wash away five pounds
of dirt and sunscreen
Then I take a hot shower
(huzzah and amen)
And I sleep, so next morning
I can do it again
14. Board Game Song
(tune - Irish Washerwoman, traditional)
toy piano, bodhran, voice
Once every month, we have our friends over
They come to the door, through the grass and the clover
They come bearing board games to add to the ones
That we have (and let me tell you, we have tons)
They bring all their favorites, both old and new
Someone brings Catan and someone brings Clue
But I like the ones that are not so well known
Here are a few of the games that I own
There’s Splendor where you can collect precious stones
And Hanabi where you give hints on unknowns
There’s Takenoko which I call panda munch
And Quartz is a mining game which I like a bunch
Here’s Dice Forge where you customize your own dice
And Century - Spice Road where you can trade in spice
Here’s Tara where you can create Celtic knots
And create pathways in Ricochet Robots
There’s Imhotep where you must load all the boats
And Battle Sheep which contains sheep but not goats
There’s Tsuro where you must create your own path
In Labyrinth, you try to avoid Jareth’s wrath
There’s the Dresden Files Card Game that’s by Evil Hat
And Star Trek Panic that is filled with combat
There’s Potion Explosion with marbles that roll
Valeria Card Kingdoms with goblins and trolls
Star Trek Five Year Mission with Yahtzee-like dice
Forbidden Desert and Island (this game was done twice)
Helios where your pieces are ringed by the sun
And Petrichor where clouds and rain have begun
Palazzo and Firenze both take place in Rome
In one, you create towers, and the other, some homes
In Hive you play chess, but with spiders and bees
In Photosynthesis you can grow some trees
As train board games go, there’s Ticket To Ride
In Nippon Rails, trains cross Japan’s countryside
In Spike one transports goods all around
In Colt Express schemin' and stealin’ abound
In Zooloretto, you’re creating a zoo
In Mystic Vale, craft and create a deck, too
Smallworld has expansions that number a lot
In Pandemic, one can cure disease with a shot
There’s Harvest where you can plant seeds and tend fields
And Castle Panic where the walls are your shields
Alhambra where stonemasons need to get paid
And Camp Grizzly where kids die and counselors get laid
In Seasons, three years can go by really fast
Odin’s Ravens - you don’t want to end up dead last
Firefly boasts three games of dice, board, and card
Fitting 20th Century Limited into this song is real hard
At the end of the evening, our friends all went home
We picked up some Meeples and some styrofoam
I turned to my sweetie and that’s when I said
“Maybe we could we play one more board game before bed!”
All songs arranged by Apryl Knight (April D. Porter)
Recorded and mixed by Tree Leom at Soundwright Studio, TX, 870-307-5355
Sonic Mastering by Matt Smith
Produced by Apryl Knight & Tree Leom
Executive Producers - Alloni Kramer & Tim Rudloff
1. Amoroso
Guglielmo Ebreo (Giovanni Ambrosio) “De Pratica seu Arte Tripudii”, 1463
Apryl Knight - Hurdy Gurdy, Flute, Psaltery, and Bodhran
Tree Leom - Tambourine
Brieann Chappel - Cello
2. Rufty Tufty
John Playford “The English Dancing Master”, 1651 (1st Ed.)
Apryl Knight - Flute, Psaltery, Penny Whistle, Glockenspiel, & Shaker Egg
Tree Leom - Bass Drum
Laura Leom - Dreadnought Bass
3. Heart's Ease
John Playford “The English Dancing Master”, 1651 (1st Ed.)
Apryl Knight - Flute & Riq
Tree Leom - Tambourine
Laura Leom - Dreadnought Bass
4. Ly Bens Dystonis
The Gresley Manuscript (England, c.1500)
Apryl Knight - Hurdy Gurdy, Flute, Psaltery, & Camel Bells
5. La Danse de Cleves
Appears in the Brussels Manuscript, 1445
Apryl Knight - Flute
Tree Leom - Tambourine & Bass Drum
Brieann Chappel - Cello
James Hazlerig - Violin & Mandola
6. Gelosia
Domenico da Piacenzo, Italian 1460
Apryl Knight - Flute (both parts)
Tree Leom - Dourbuki
Laura Leom - Dreadnought Bass
7/8. Petit Riens / Petit Riens (fast reprise)
Guglielmo Ebreo (Giovanni Ambrosio) mid 15th century
Apryl Knight - Hurdy Gurdy, Flute, Psaltery & Tambourine
Tree Leom - Dourbouka
9. Gracca Amorosa
Fabritio Caroso “Il Ballarino”, 1581
Apryl Knight - Flute, Psaltery, Hurdy Gurdy, & Glockenspiel
Tree Leom - Tabor
10. Official Bransle
Thoinot Arbeau “Orchesographie”, 1589
Apryl Knight - Hurdy Gurdy, Tambourine, Flute, Psaltery, and Field Drum
Brieann Chappel - Cello
11. Sellenger's Round
John Playford “The English Dancing Master”, 1657 (3rd Ed.)
Apryl Knight - Flute, Psaltery, Hurdy Gurdy, & Bodhran
12. If All the World Were Paper
John Playford “The English Dancing Master”, 1651 (1st Ed.)
Apryl Knight - Flute
Tree Leom - Boobashaker
James Hazlerig - Violin
Laura Leom - Dreadnought Bass
13. Tomorrow The Fox Will Come To Towne (Trenchmore)
Music - Music by Thomas Ravenscroft, "Deuteromelia", 1609 / Dance - John Playford “The English Dancing Master”, 1652 (2nd Ed.)
Apryl Knight - Flute, Psaltery, Bodhran, & Vocals
Tree Leom - Tambourine & Vocals
Laura Leom - Vocals
James Hazlerig - Mandola & Vocals
1. Tomorrow the Fox will come to towne,
keep, keep, keep, keep, keepe:
Tomorrow the Fox will come to towne,
O keep you all well there.
Chorus:
I must desire you neighbors all,
to hallow the fox out of the hall,
and cry as loud as you can cal, [cal = call]
Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop,
and cry as loud as you can cal,
O keepe you all well there.
2. Hee'l steale the Cock out from his flock,
keep, keep, keep, keep, keepe:
Hee'l steale the Cock euen from his flock, [euen = even]
O keepe you all well there.
Chorus
3. Hee'l steale the Hen out of the pen,
Hee'l steale the Hen out of the pen,
4. Hee'l steal the Duck out of the brook
Hee'l steale the Duck out of the brook
5. Hee'l steal the lamb euen from his dam, [dam = mother]
Hee'l steal the Lamb euen from his dam,
14. Cassandre & Burgundian/Bourgogne Bransles
Thoinot Arbeau “Orchesographie”, 1589
Apryl Knight - Hurdy Gurdy, Flute, Penny Whistle, & Psaltery
Tree Leom - Bass Drum & Tambourine
15. Horse’s Bransle/Branle des Chevaux
Thoinot Arbeau “Orchesographie”, 1589
Apryl Knight - Flute & Psaltery
Tree Leom - Tambourine & Bass Drum
James Hazlerig - Fiddle & Mandola
16. Black Almayn
Melody from R.C.M. Ms. 1119 (Inns of Court, 16th century)
Apryl Knight - Flute & Psaltery
Tree Leom - Bass Drum & Tambourine
Laura Leom - Dreadnought Bass
Gerry Priest - Viola Da Gamba
Recording and Mixing by Neal Tibrewala, Tibrewala Studios, and
Larry Gillis, Stone Lantern Studios
All Mastering by Larry Gillis, Stone Lantern Studios
No hedgehogs were harmed in the making of this album (just embarrassed a bit.)
1. Southwind (An Ghaoth Aneas)
c. 1700s by Domhnall Meirgeach Mc Con Mara (Freckled Donal Macnamara), Irish
Apryl Knight - bowed psaltery and piano
2. #100 of the Cantigas de Santa Maria (Strela Do Dia)
1221–1284 Galician-Portuguese, collected/composed by King Alfonso X of Castile
Apryl Knight - bowed psaltery, guitar, and tambourine
3. The Month Of January
Traditional, arr. April D. Porter (Apryl Knight)
Apryl Knight - vocals, bowed psaltery, and piano
It was in the month of January, all in the frost and snow,
As over hills and valleys, a wandering I did go.
It was there I spied a pretty fair maid, with a salt tear in her eye.
She held a baby in her arms, and bitterly she did cry.
Saying "Cruel was my father to bar the door on me,
And cruel was my mother, this dreadful crime to see.
Cruel was my own true love to change his heart for gold,
And cruel was that winter's night that pierced my heart with cold."
"Oh, the taller that the pine tree grows, the sweeter is the bark.
And the fairer that a young man speaks, the falser is his heart.
He will kiss you and embrace you, 'till he thinks he has you won,
Then he'll go away and leave you all for some other one."
"So come all you pretty fair young maids, a warning take by me,
And never try to build your nest on top of any tall tree.
For the roots, they will all wither, and the branches will decay,
And the blushes of a false young man, will all soon fade away."
4. Blooming Love
1997 by April D. Porter (Apryl Knight)
Apryl Knight - piano
5. #353 of the Cantigas de Santa Maria (Quen a omagen da Virgen)
1221–1284 Galician-Portuguese, collected/composed by King Alfonso X of Castile
Apryl Knight - bowed psaltery and tambourine
6. The Cat On The Stairs
2002 by William Haines (Thanks, Bill!)
Apryl Knight - penny whistle, bodhran, and bones
Bill says "I originally wrote it as a hornpipe though it can be played as a slow reel,
but it does have more of a swing to it as a hornpipe - but not too dotted(!)
. The title "The Cat on the Stairs" (aka "Tabby's Revenge") is a reference
to a cat (called Dylan) I used to live with and who used to spend a lot of
time sitting on the stairs watching (and occasionally, if he was in a grumpy
mood, "batting" the other two cats in the house (who were siblings) if they
tried to pass and occasionally tripping up the humans who lived in the house
as well!"
7. (Polar) Bear Dance
16th century Belgium (3rd section Michael Gartner)
Apryl Knight - bowed psaltery and bodhran
8. Mouse Dance
Traditional Yiddish/Ukrainian
Apryl Knight - pianonomicon and tambourine
9. The Wind And The Rain
1601 by William Shakespeare, from “Twelfth Night”
Apryl Knight - vocals and bowed psaltery
When that I was and a little tiny boy,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
A foolish thing was but a toy,
For the rain it raineth every day.
But when I came to man’s estate,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
‘Gainst knaves and thieves men shut the gate,
For the rain it raineth every day.
But when I came, alas! to wive,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
By swaggering could I never thrive,
For the rain it raineth every day.
But when I came unto my beds,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
With toss-pots still had drunken heads,
For the rain it raineth every day.
A great while ago the world begun,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
But that’s all one, our play is done,
And we’ll strive to please you every day.
10. #166 of the Cantigas de Santa Maria (Como Poden)
1221–1284 Galician-Portuguese, collected/composed by King Alfonso X of Castile
Apryl Knight - bowed psaltery and bodhran
11. Uskudar
19th century, Turkish (and many others)
Apryl Knight - bowed psaltery, bodhran, and zills
12. She Moved Through The Faire
Melody - Medieval Irish
Words - Traditional/Padraic Colum
Apryl Knight - vocals
I once had a sweetheart,
I loved her so well
I loved her far better
than my tongue could tell
Her parents they slight me
for my want of gear
So adieu to you darling,
since you are not here
My young love said to me,
My mother won't mind
And my father won't slight you
For your lack of kind.
And she laid her hand on me
And this she did say:
It will not be long, Love,
'til our wedding day.
She went away from me
and she moved through the faire
Where hand-slapping dealers'
loud shouts rent the air
The sunlight around her
did sparkle and play
Saying it won't be long now
'til our wedding day.
Her skirts floated 'round her
as she moved through the faire
And fondly I watched her
Move here and move there.
As she made her way homeward,
With one star awake,
As the swan in the evening
Moved over the lake.
When dew falls on meadow
and moths fill the night
When glow of the embers
on hearth throws half-light
I'll slip from the casement
and we'll run away
And it will not be long love
'til our wedding day
The people were saying,
No two e'er were wed
But one had a sorrow
That never was said.
And I smiled as she passed
With her goods and her gear,
And that was the last
That I saw of my dear
Last night she came to me,
My own love came in.
So softly she came
That her feet made no din.
As she laid her hand on me,
And this she did say:
It will not be long, love,
'til our wedding day.
1. Black Nag
Playford 1651
Apryl Knight - bowed psaltery
Mark the Harper - harp and panflute
2. Salley Gardens
Music - Maids of the Mourne Shore
Words - William Butler Yeats
Apryl Knight - flute and vocals
Mark the Harper - harp
Down by the salley gardens my love and I did meet;
She passed the salley gardens with little snow-white feet.
She bid me take love easy, as the leaves grow on the tree;
But I, being young and foolish, with her would not agree.
In a field by the river my love and I did stand,
And on my leaning shoulder she laid her snow-white hand.
She bid me take life easy, as the grass grows on the weirs;
But I was young and foolish, and now am full of tears.
3. Korobushka
19th century Ukrainian
Apryl Knight - flute
Mark the Harper - harp
4. Sumer Is Icumen In
Harleian Ms 978 13th century
Apryl Knight - harp and vocals
Mark the Harper - harp and vocals
Svmer is icumen in.
Lhude sing cuccu.
Groweþ sed
and bloweþ med
and springþ the wde nu.
Sing cuccu.
Awe bleteþ after lomb,
lhouþ after calue cu.
Bulluc sterteþ,
bucke uerteþ,
murie sing cuccu.
Cuccu cuccu.
Wel singes þu cuccu
ne swik þu naver nu.
Sing cuccu nu. Sing cuccu.
Sing cuccu. Sing cuccu nu.
5. Maltese Bransle
Schiarazula Marazula - Giorgio Mainerio
Apryl Knight - harp and bodhran
Mark the Harper - harp
6. We Be Soldiers Three
Thomas Ravenscroft
Apryl Knight - bodhran and vocals
Mark the Harper - harp, recorder, and vocals
We be soldiers three,
Pardonnez-moi je vous en prie,
Lately come forth from the low country,
With never a penny of money.
Come, good fellow, I drink to thee,
Pardonnez-moi je vous en prie,
To all good fellows where ever they be,
with never a penny of money.
We be soldiers three,
Pardonnez-moi je vous en prie,
Lately come forth from the low country,
With never a penny of money.
Come, good fellow, I'll sing you a song,
Sing for the brave and sing for the strong.
To all those living and those who have gone,
With never a penny of money.
We be soldiers three,
Pardonnez-moi je vous en prie,
Lately come forth from the low country,
With never a penny of money.
And he that will not pledge me this,
Pardonnez-moi je vous en prie,
pays for the shot whatever it is,
with never a penny of money.
We be soldiers three,
Pardonnez-moi je vous en prie,
Lately come forth from the low country,
With never a penny of money.
7. Danny Boy
Music - Londonderry Air
Words - Frederick Weatherly
Apryl Knight - flute and vocals
Mark the Harper - harp and vocals
Oh, Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side.
The summer's gone, and all the roses falling,
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow,
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow,
For I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow,
Oh, Danny Boy, oh Danny Boy, I love you so!
8. Amoroso
15th century Italian
Apryl Knight - bowed psaltery
Mark the Harper - harp
9. Lass of Aughrim
Music - Tulstin Troubadours
Words - traditional
Apryl Knight - vocals
Mark the Harper - harp and vocals
Well if you be the Lass of Aughrim
As I suppose you to be,
Come give me that token
That passed between you and me.
Ah, Gregory, don't you remember
That night on the hill?
When we swapped rings off each other's hands
Surely against my will.
Mine was of the beaten gold,
Yours but black tin.
Yes, mine was of the beaten gold,
Yours but black tin.
Oh, the rain falls on my yellow locks,
And dew soaks my skin;
My babe lies cold in my arms;
Lord Gregory, let me in.
Oh, the rain falls on my heavy locks,
And dew soaks my skin;
My babe lies cold in my arms;
But none will let me in.
10. Greensleeves
1580-1584, Traditional English
Apryl Knight - bowed psaltery and vocals
Mark the Harper - harp and vocals
Alas, my love, you do me wrong,
To cast me off discourteously.
For I have loved you oh so long,
Delighting in your company.
Greensleeves was all my joy
Greensleeves was my delight,
Greensleeves was my heart of gold,
And who but my lady greensleeves.
Thou couldst desire no earthly thing,
But still thou hadst it readily.
Thy music still to play and sing;
And yet thou wouldst not love me.
Greensleeves was all my joy
Greensleeves was my delight,
Greensleeves was my heart of gold,
And who but my lady greensleeves.
Ah, Greensleeves, now farewell, adieu,
To God I pray to prosper thee,
For I am still thy lover true,
Come once again and love me.
Greensleeves was all my joy
Greensleeves was my delight,
Greensleeves was my heart of gold,
And who but my lady greensleeves.
11. Old Grey Cat
Traditional Irish
Apryl Knight - pennywhistle
Mark the Harper - harp and recorder